Cheating In Love - Should You Tell Your Partner Or Not?

Cheating is considered unpardonable. Everybody takes cheating by the partner very seriously. But most of us cheat at one or the other time -if not physically then emotionally. What if you cheated on your partner in a momentary lapse and are now very much regretting it. Should you tell your partner or not?

Love Can Not Be Lost-

You are worried that if you tell your partner, you may loose the relationship and the love forever. But you cannot afford to loose the love. You love your partner very much and the thought of staying separately frightens you. You do not want to take any risk with your love. If you tell your partner about your cheating, you may lose that love.

Love And Lies Can Not Stay Together-

If we love deeply then our relationship is always very open. We are so open and hones with each other that forget physical cheating, we do not even think about emotional cheating.

Once we decide to hide our cheating we go into mental trauma. We are always thinking about the cheating and not telling. Along with that we are worried about getting caught. This torture of emotions affects our love and our partner will sense that something is amiss. The relationship will suffer.

In both the alternatives, the relationship stands to suffer because the deed has been done. What do you think is the better alternative? You will tell your partner or hide?

Depression And Relationships

Depression can be a very lonely illness and your relationships are a key part of how you cope with your depression. You need friends for support. Not just good weather friends but friends who can support you when you’re down. If one of these friends is also depressed it is not necessarily a bad thing. You can understand each other and perhaps be there on each other’s bad days (but not if you’re having a bad time at the same time). However, you need to be conscious when choosing sexual partners that your depression will have altered you as a person. It is likely that the person you get together with when depressed will not be the person you want to be with when you are better. When you are depressed you are a different person – you may not even know who you really are – but your partner will be with the person you are at that time. Also, depression alters your view of the world and therefore your view of other people, so your view of your partner will not be the same when you are better.

Now, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t start a relationship when depressed. On the contrary, it could be the best thing for you. It may provide the stability you need to start working through your problems and you may be able to talk to your partner about things you can’t discuss with anyone else. Your partner may be the only person you can relax around and start to feel yourself again. Issues may arise that hadn’t before and wouldn’t have come up if you weren’t in a relationship. On the other hand, you may find that you keep up the pretence of being the person you think you ought to be. There is also the possibility that the relationship could fail before you are ready - perhaps due to your depression. This will make you worse. Either way, the stability may give you the space to start seeing things differently and the confidence to start seeking therapy.

However, what I strongly advise is do not start a relationship with someone who is also depressed. I am not a doctor but I do have 25 years experience of depression and there are two likely outcomes of this sort of relationship. Firstly, one of you will get better, you will split and the other will get worse. The reason is this: if you are simply friends with another depressed person you can help each other and if one of you gets better you can still be there to help the other one with your understanding and advice. However, if you are in a relationship with another depressed person and one of you gets better and you split up then the other person will have suffered the end of their relationship plus the loss of their friendship and support. By all means be friends with other depressed people, we all need friends when we’re depressed, but wait until you have both recovered before you think about starting a sexual partnership.

Depression is a difficult illness to really get rid of. Once you have had it there is always the possibility of a recurrence. If you have recovered from your depression but are still in a relationship with someone who is depressed it is very difficult to stay recovered. Also, you may find that you want to get out of the relationship but feel trapped because you know that the other person will get worse. The stress of this may send you back into depression. This is the second outome - you will both remain depressed.

There are two remaining possible outcomes - the first is that you will both get better and stay together. I believe this is highly unlikely but not impossible. You will both be different people when you are better, with different views and personalities from when you first got together. You may still like each other but want different things. It would be great if you both manage to help each other through depression and out the other side but the normal stresses and strains of a relationship make this unlikely.

The other outcome is that one of you will get better and you will stay together. I think this is the least likely to happen. If you recover from depression and live with someone who is depressed you are not likely to be really happy. You may still remember the feelings and understand but there may be an element of "I got through it so you should be able to as well." We all know that's unreasonable as part of depression is the feeling that you just can't try any more but don't people always say that ex-smokers and the worst critics of smokers?

Bear in mind that a long-term partnership is not necessarily a bad thing when you are depressed but please think about the consequences of getting together with another depressed person. Try to help each other and be there for each other but keep enough distance between you so that you help each other and not bring each other down. In other words, stay friends and don’t live with each other, at least, not until you know who you really are.

Making Happy Friendship

How to have happy friends? This is a very important question. Who likes friends who don't smile and laugh? Who enjoys meeting friends who look serious? Not any one of us.

What about ourselves? Do we make happy friendships? Do we make our friends happy? Before thinking about others, wouldn't it be better if we first analyze our own selves? Do we smile more often when we are with our friends? Do we laugh at the smallest joke? Or do we have a serious expression on our face all the time with our friends? Let us first think about our own behavior and correct whatever we can.

Making happy friendships

Make yourself look happy with your friends and your friends will reflect. That is the secret of happy friendship. Our emotions are reflected in our body language. The reverse is equally true. Does this help us? It does. It can change our state of mind by changing our physical state. For example, if you are feeling bored, try to look cheerful and you will start becoming cheerful. It is strange, but it works. If you are feeling sad, try to look happy. You will find the sadness going away. Isn't it great?

How do we talk with friends?

Happiness also depends on what do we talk with our friends. Are we always talking of our own life or do we also listen to them. Listening is the best way to make friends happy. Listen and do it carefully. No pretensions. Your friends will be happy that someone heard them out without interruption. You will also be making your friendship stronger. Listening is very good. By listening, we make the other person feel important. we also make him/her feel happy and relieved. By talking things out, one feels relieved. Isn't it?

Give and you shall receive- the third law of Newton. Apply this law in your life and make happy friends. You can make them happy right now by telling them about how much you appreciate their friendship. Listening to your friends, keeping a happy state of mind in their company and appreciating the friendship will make happy friends. Make your life happier and your relationships stronger with happy friends.

Friendship - An Invaluable Asset

Friendship  is a great asset. But Much under valued and always taken for granted. Why? Because everybody has friends, rather most of us have. In comparison, money is valued a lot, because not all of us have it. But friendship can at times prove to be a bigger and better asset than money.

To have a true friend is the greatest comfort in the world. Even if you lose all your money, your friend will remain with you. Your friend will support you when you need it most. He/she will do it without your asking for it. Because that is friendship.

When we are born, our greatest friend is our mother. She takes care of us under all circumstances and protects us at times by giving away her life. Friendship is like that. As we grow older, we begin making friends. With some of them we have disputes. With others we are dissatisfied. With very few, we remain friends for life. With that kind of friend, we are assured of help whenever we need it. We also have to be prepared to do that.

Friendship is not a one way street. It demands commitment from both the friends. But the fruits of friendship are very sweet and the fruit drops from the tree only when we are most hungry.

Friendship And Love

Friendship and love. Both are so much related to each other. And both are so dissimilar! What are the differences between friendship and love? Is platonic friendship possible between persons of opposite sex? Let us try and understand.

What is friendship? Why do we call a person our friend? When do we call someone a very good friend? If we care for a person, if we are always ready to help that person and if we share most of our thoughts with a person, they are our good friends. We can always count upon our good friends in an emergency. We are always sure that our friend will understand why we acted in a certain way. We need not explain anything to our very good friends. The friendship is so deep and the relationship is so intimate, that most of the things are automatically understood by our friends.

What about love? In a relationship of deep love, all the sharing that we discussed above are taken for granted. But love transcends all this. During love, we are attached with a particular person, while in friendship, one may have many friends. A loving relationship makes one so much attached to the other, that one gets pained if his/her beloved is hurt! Love also involves a physical element. Friendship does not have that. This is a vital difference. Nature gives us love so that the specie can go forward. Nature does not give us friendship.

Your heart beats will never increase in anticipation of meeting your friend. You will not lie awake at night thinking about your friend. You will not feel totally lost, if you don't meet your friend for a few days. You will not have dreams in your eyes thinking about your friend. But in love, you will do all this and much more. Indeed, there is no comparison between love and friendship.