The Powerful Secret to A Loving Relationship

There are many factors that go into creating a loving relationship. Certainly it helps if two people have some things in common regarding how they like to spend their time. It also helps if they have common values around religion or spirituality, around politics, the environment, abortion, and personal growth. It helps if they both eat junk food or both eat organic food. It makes things easier if both are neat or both are messy, if both are on time people or both are late people. Physical attraction is also quite important. It’s great if they have common values around money and spending.

Yet a couple can have all of these and still not have a loving relationship if one element is missing. Without this essential ingredient, all the other wonderful attributes will not be enough to make the relationship work.

This essential ingredient is about intention.

At any given moment, each of us is devoted to only one of two different intentions: to control or to learn. When our intention is to control, our deepest motivation is to have control over getting love, avoiding pain, and feeling safe. When our intention is to learn, our deepest motivation is to learn about being loving to ourselves and others.

The motivation to get love rather than be loving can create havoc within a relationship.

Let’s look at a typical relationship issue and see what happens regarding the two different intentions. Jason and Samantha are feeling emotionally distant from each other, and they haven’t made love in a month. The problem started when Samantha stated that she wanted to take an expensive vacation and Jason objected. Samantha got angry, Jason gave in, and they have been distant ever since.

Samantha’s intention was to have control over getting what she wanted. She equates an expensive vacation with love – if Jason does this for her, then he proves his love for her. She used her anger as a way to have control over getting what she wants. She wants control over feeling special to Jason.

Jason’s intention is to avoid pain. He gave himself up to have control over Samantha not being angry with him. He hopes that by giving Samantha what she wants, she will see him as a good and loving husband.

However, because both Jason and Samantha were trying to control each other rather than be loving to themselves and each other, their interaction created emotional distance.

What would this have looked like if their intention had been to learn?

If Samantha’s intent had been to learn, she would not have become angry. Instead, she would have wanted to understand Jason’s objections. If Jason’s intention had been to learn, he would not have given himself up. Instead he would have wanted to understand why this particular vacation was so important to Samantha. Both Samantha and Jason would have been caring about themselves and each other, rather than wanting to get love or avoid pain. In their mutual exploration about why they each felt the way they did, they would have learned what they needed to learn - about themselves and each other - to reach a win-win resolution. Instead of Samantha ostensibly winning and Jason losing, they would have come up with something both of them could live with. With some exploration of his financial fears, Jason might have decided that the vacation Samantha wanted would be fine. With understand of Jason’s financial concerns, Samantha might have decided on a less expensive vacation. In either case, both of them would have felt fine about the outcome.

No matter how much Jason and Samantha have in common or are attracted to each other, their love will diminish when their intent is to control rather than learn. It’s amazing how quickly love vanishes when one or both partners have the intent to control. It’s equally amazing how fast it comes back when both partners have the intent to learn.

The Ultimate And Perfect Relationship

The ultimate and perfect relationship is something that most of us dream of. So many of us yearn to be that perfect woman, that every man will fall in love with, and constantly visualize that fairytale romance and the rest of our life with our perfect soul mate.

Why then doesn’t it always happen that way with so many of us wondering how we find the right man, why do we always end up in a failing relationship or why doesn’t he call.

Relationships are so frustrating leaving us stressed, distraught and confused, never quite knowing what we have done wrong and wondering what he see in her rather than us.

You see those women who always have their man, have great relationships and can have the pick of the crop. Their relationships are always perfect, full of excitement with great men and the ideal life. Why do some women have such a perfect relationship and a perfect life when others have to suffer relationships that are dull, unfulfilling, boring or even non existent? Don’t you just wish you could really understand men?

Don’t despair, did you know that as a woman, by virtue of your femininity, you have the power at you finger tips to make men fall in love with you, make men want to spend the rest of their lives with you, influence the way they think and persuade them to give you want your heart desires.

If you find it difficult to attract the right man, sustain a relationship, keep the interest of your partner or persuade the love of your life to get down on one knee don’t despair, all women have the power to get their man by learning how to be their selves and focusing on their individuality.

Have you noticed that women who attract men like magnets aren’t necessarily beautiful, in fact many a beautiful women never attracts the perfect man, just the ones that can’t see beyond the cover and are quick to dump their trophies at the drop of a hat. Many of these women are never loved for who they are but purely for what they look like and once the looks go then they can kiss their marriage goodbye.

The women who attract their ‘perfect’ man aren’t necessarily the most beautiful they are women who feel comfortable about themselves, know how to present the assets that they have and know how to please their man.

The ability to attract the right man is a learned skill, not something you are just born with, not some magical attraction that can only happen if you that ‘other’ person, it’s an art but a learned art that will enable YOU to attract and keep your dream man.

Men might not admit it but they want to be lured, seduced and possessed by their women and will happily give anything to the women that makes him feel special, good about himself and totally fulfilled.

Seducing a man just isn’t about sex or fancy meals it’s about the complete art of seduction, the power to make yourself irresistible.

What Makes A Relationship A Box Of Chocolates?

“I love you.” What a punch these three simple words can bring – if it’s delivered the right way.

The thing is, some people just can’t say it comfortably without the words tripping out of their mouths. You’d think they’ll morph and turn into ogres, the way they squirm and go around beating around the bush before finally saying the words.

Then there are also those who openly say the words but don’t really mean it. Nevertheless, it doesn’t matter if they do or don’t say the words. What matters is that a relationship remains honest and happy.

What are the things that make a relationship work anyway? The same factors work for all kinds of relationship. Whether it’s a relationship between lovers, among family members, friends, office workers, and business partners, the same foundations apply for it to work.

If a pillar is missing, the whole thing crumbles. Three pillars make up the foundation. We call the three pillars The Relationship Tripod.

Let us discuss them in detail:

The Companionship Leg

First, it must be understood that a relationship requires at least two people for it to exist, let alone work. You must be visible to the other person.

If the relationship is long distance, you must at least feel that the other one is there. It won’t do any good to take the other’s existence for granted and count on the other to check up on you. You must also show compassion.

If you keep up the show of indifference, it just spells failure. The other person needs to sense your feelings for them. Show them kindness, gentleness, sensitivity - anything that shows you care for them. It’s not that hard to say “I’m always here for you,” is it? Whoever receives this show of affection must give something back. Everyone must do his or her part in a relationship because it’s a give and take condition.

The Compromise Leg

As mentioned earlier, a relationship is a give-and-take situation. Not all people are made alike; even if two people are so uncannily similar, there might still exist small differences that could spark an argument.

This is why an agreement has to be reached on every argument, whether petty or vital. All kinds are important, especially when it comes to a relationship. Someone has to win and someone has to give in. This is why the discussion of differences is so essential.

Discuss the disparity: What is the problem? Why is it a problem? Who should compromise and adjust to the problem? All these should be resolved. Conceding sometimes doesn’t make you a loser; rather, it goes to show how important a relationship is to you. “I guess you’re right.” These words could be the balm of your disputes.

The Communication Leg

There would be no discussion of differences, no showing of affection, and no saying of words without communication. This third and last leg is probably the most vital in a relationship. It enables us to know what the other party feels and what is needed to make the partnership work.

It gives us the ability to say the words that are wanted and needed. In short, the other two legs won’t happen if the last one isn’t present. Just a small act of communication could go a long way in improving a relationship.

You can do simple things like writing a small note on a piece of paper, or writing short emails at least occasionally. Do something to give truth to your existence and your relationship. Don’t take this for granted, because a lot of relationships crumble due to lack of any contact.

Take the long distance relationship, for instance. A lot fail, but some succeed because they make contact with each other almost every day. Even business associates keep in contact by sending each other progress reports.

Any form of relationship is a box of chocolates, as Forrest Gump puts it. Some tastes good and some don’t. Overall, the experience of having a box of chocolates gives you a good feeling because eating each and every piece of chocolate gives an experience - an experience of bitterness, sweetness, or even bitter-sweetness. You don’t get every flavor that you desire in a box.

So if you are looking for a relationship that is easy on the heart and mind, get ready for the harsh reality. It entails the effort of everyone involved for it to work well.

Why Not Send Flowers Online? Why Not Send Flowers Online?

Life is hectic for most of us, but no one wants to miss those special occasions, so why not send flowers online? It's as easy as pushing a few buttons and far more convenient than taking the extra time to run to the flower shop on your lunch hour.

Sending online flowers in Chicago way is a breeze. The city has a wide network of cooperating florists who'll have your bouquet in the hands of that special someone within 24 hours in most cases. If you live in DeKalb send flowers just as easily with a bevy of florists just waiting to fill your order with the freshest blooms available. Many local florists do not charge extra to deliver flowers in Chicago.

When you send flowers online, you have the added bonus of choosing from a selection of standard arrangements in beautiful color photos that let you see exactly what you'll be sending. No more standing at the floral counter trying to describe what you want and hoping the resulting arrangement is what you had in mind. When you send flowers online, you take the guess work out and get just the arrangement you want.

Many florists make it even easier to send flowers online by having their designs arranged by the occasion. Think of the convenience of clicking a link and seeing an array of lovely New Baby bouquets, ready to send directly to the new mom's hospital room. Never suffer the guilt of forgetting Valentine's Day or an anniversary again. Even last minute orders can usually be taken care of if you put your order in an hour or so before closing time.

Perhaps it's more convenient to search for your floral arrangement by sentiment? Many online florists have categories for Get Well, Thank You, and I'm Sorry. Sounds pretty easy, doesn't it? Or you can send the perfect bereavement arrangement by looking in the Sympathy category. Need to send a little something to spark your special someone's anticipation of tonight's dinner date? Check out the Romance section. Whatever sentiment you wish to express, you can conveniently send flowers online in a matter of minutes.

When you decide to send flowers online, you take the hassle out of showing friends and family how much you care. For your convenience, many online florists will allow you to create an account with special dates and occasion to be remembered. You can either pick your choices ahead of time and have them sent out automatically and billed to your account, or you can choose to receive an e-mail reminder to send flowers online. Never get the cold shoulder for forgetting an important event again.

When you look at the overall convenience, there's no reason not to send flowers online.

Yes, You Can Have a Romantic Valentine's Day, On A Budget

While we would all like to whisk our partner away to celebrate St Valentine's Day at an exotic five star resort, I know I can't afford it, just yet!

Here are some ideas for Valentine's Day luxuries on a budget that will amaze your partner. And if you do it just right, with a little creativity, you can have the ultra-romantic day that will convince your loved one of how much you love him or her. Again.

Getting out into the open air, just the two of you, is a great way to spend Valentines. Head for the hills or the state park. There are walks to suit all - whether its an easy walk or a more demanding hike. Remember, it's February, so its likely that the place will be deserted and you will have all that natural beauty to yourself. And outdoor privacy is so romantic!

Take along a special picnic when you go out. In a small picnic basket collect a tablecloth, a vase with a realistic rose in it, 2 taper candles with holders (don’t forget a lighter) and a lovely meal for two. When you reach the picnic area you can surprise your partner by setting the table for a romantic meal. Sit down and enjoy!

You could take the picnic with you on a romantic drive, or for a day out kite flying or bicycling. Remember that it’s being together that is important.

The outdoors idea even works for couples that have children. There's always plenty for the kids to do if there is a safe and empty playground close by. What better way to celebrate your love than by keeping one eye on the children and reminding yourself why you love them, and their other parent, so much.

Don't fancy the great, romantic, outdoors? Cooking your romantic Valentine’s meal together is a great way to share the day. Male sure that your dinner choice is something you will both enjoy, even better if its a special treat you don't often have. Go over the top in decorating the dining room and go to town on the place settings. Make sure you both dress up in your best clothes, as if it was your first date, with your best jewelry and scent.

The main thing to remember is that if you are together you will have as romantic a time as you would have at a posh resort or an exclusive restaurant. It’s the thought that counts, not how much money you spend.

Marriage Relationship In Focus - Strengthen It Today!

Why is it that after the marriage ceremony and the honeymoon everything between the couple goes back to normal? It is like a bright light that suddenly dims.

It seems like they have dreamed and then suddenly when they open their eyes, they find themselves back into reality. They fall back to their usual routines except that they are now sort of handcuffed together.

The only problem is there is no key for such handcuff or is there?

Well, the answer lies in the couples themselves.

Beginning a life with your partner, awkward moments can be experienced especially when you already have your own children. Your attention will be focused on them. Your romance will now be set side.

For your marriage to go smoothly, the best thing to do is for both of you to look back to the very basic of your relationship. Sort out the things to maintain the marriage. You should think about the time that you realized that you love each other and let that love flow through out.

Couples have to understand the differences of the way each of them views things. It is important that couples fully support each other especially on decision-making and each has to respect one’s decision as well. Remember the pledge you once both shared on your wedding day that you would be there for each other for better or for worse.

A good communication is the foundation of a good marital relationship. If one of you committed something or said something wrong, talk about it forget your pride and simply ask for forgiveness.

It important to express what you feel. Both of you should be good listeners as well. Couples should discuss everything including rules issues, problems and even little things.

Everyday, couples should show that they care for each other. As many times as possible, tell your spouse that you love him/her.

Do little stuff to show your affection, like take him to dinner or a movie treat would be a sweet idea. It is said that little things can produce large outcomes.

It is important and essential to understand that growing the relationship is one of your major priorities. Aside from this, couples should maintain a loving relationship. Each of you must be honest, patient and loyal.

Moreover, each of you must learn to take on a responsibility. Taking responsibility extends to your feelings, thoughts, defenses, and understanding.

As the saying goes, “Marriage is not a game.” The person you will be marrying is thus someone you will be stuck with for the rest of your life. A marriage though is destined to suffer some pain and grief. This is the reason why most marriage relationships fail.

Marriage is not simply what we thought we could just come and go or do anything as we pleased or do or not do the dishes. Marriage does not work that way.

Most marriages fail mainly because of things like pride, unselfishness and self-control. Most people say that like money, pride too is a source of evil. Financial and sexual problems are only minor ones.

Marriage can either be a source of happiness or bitterness. The success o your marriage depends upon the question of to what extent are you willing to sacrifice. This is the most likely question we should ask ourselves.

Marriage Counseling-Make Time for Your Relationship by Avoiding Urgency Addiction

Lori Zimmermann of Santa Barbara, California, worked for a large international retail organization for eight years. She entered corporate America with the intent to stay and make a career. But after eight years, she called it quits and started freelancing to have more control over her work hours and her life.

“I never felt finished at work,” she explains. “While I could maintain the status quo, I really couldn’t make it better. We worked up to 60 hours a week just to get the job done. It wasn’t directly said you had to do it, but everyone else was working that hard, so you just felt it was expected.”

She walked away from a guaranteed salary, a benefit structure, and stock options to have flexibility and control over her time. “Although it has certainly made things tougher financially, I’ve never regretted my decision,” she states.

She is not alone. More and more workers are questioning their role in corporate American and it’s “ASAPs” climate. Today’s corporate culture is “hooked” on urgency where everything is a priority, needing to be done yesterday. This “urgency addiction” has become a way of life, a workaholic culture. Company routine revolves around a series of emergency “fires” that need extinguishing immediately. Employees run from project to project with caffeine energy and buckets of sand. Sprinkling a little sand here, a little there, they feel exhausted at the end of the day, yet cannot point to any specific accomplishment or finished project.

Urgency addiction permeates today’s organizations and affects all who work there. It produces an adrenaline rush of feeling important, but soon leads to exhaustion and burn out. Those who attempt to fight it by asking, “But, which one is the priority?” are told, “Everything is a priority.” Employees dance as fast as they can but fall increasingly behind.

Workers try to compensate by taking work home, coming in early, or sacrificing time on weekends to improve productivity with no interruptions. This additional effort is usually rewarded with yet another project, another area of responsibility, and more simmering fires to extinguish.

By accepting bonuses, promotions, stock options, and buy-outs, boomers are trapped with “golden handcuffs” that make it difficult to leave, hard to stay, and impossible to say “no.” Money becomes the goal rather than a means to an end. Workers find that each rung of the success ladder only takes them to a higher level of urgency addiction. As one executive explained, “I’m at the top, but I don’t like the view.”

Some techniques to fight urgency addiction in your life:

*Review your calendar at the beginning of the week. Highlight the priorities and goals for each day. This will help you to narrow your focus. While unexpected emergencies may occur, you will be much less likely to be in a reactive mode if you take time to plan.

*Avoid hop-scotching. Resist hopping from one project to another without finishing what you start. You know what I mean; you start cleaning up a pile on your desk and then decide to create a file system. When you go to look in the files, you realize they have to be thinned, and so on. Finish one thing before you move on to something else.

*Do big projects first. You may have a tendency to gravitate to the projects or work that is easy to do. These often tend to be small projects that are “no-brainers.” Possibly you kid yourself that if you just clean up these small projects, you can give your full attention to the big things. The problem is never getting around to the large projects. So start with the ones you really don’t want to do and the small ones will get done along the way.

*Have a sign over your desk that reads:
Lack of planning on your part…
is not necessarily an emergency for me.

Relationship: Commitment Errors

COMMITMENT: A ten letter word consisting of 3 vowels and 7 consonants; a word that symbolises union, loyalty, monogamy, togetherness, love, mutual respect and perhaps all those priceless sentiments which we hold in such high esteem. It's a word almost always associated with marriage; a word that means so much in theory. Yet in practice is so more often than not reduced to a mere string of alphabetical letters.

Marriages today are crumbling for lack of commitment. So why get married in the first place if you have no intention of being loyal? Most 'contemporary' women, it seems, have tuned into 'Desperate Housewives'. The infamous line of "It meant nothing. It was just sex' being the buzz. Yes, times are hard, there is too much temptation, we are only human, and we all make mistakes. But there are some who actually think it's OK to sleep around because it really is just sex. At the end of the day, they are going home to their to their partner; they are providing for their partner, they are 'committed' to their partner. So what's the bid deal?

The irony is it is a big deal. Because commitment is clearly no longer what it used to be, the word has developed a whole new meaning. It's rarely about being together in sickness and health, for richer or poorer etc. Today, it's about selfish needs. Marriage now rests on 'convenience'.

Confusing the C word...

Mention the 'C' word and you are bound to get varied responses. A sexy bombshell, who has been in a couple of high-profile romance says, "It means everything to me." while her equally sexy sister says, "It's just become a word". Another heartthrob candidly confesses that six months ago, he would have been working his charm on the ladies but today, he is in a serious relationship and doesn't want to break his sweetheart's trust, especially since his track record sucks!

A young hottie sincerely feels 'he can keep love and sex separate'. He believes that he can never ever love another, yet he has faltered on occasions simply for physical reasons. He calls it 'A momentary flirtation'. His lifelong "commitment" is to only one lady. What does this prove? Utter confusion and a warped sense of values!

Totally committed...

But fear not, for there is hope yet. Nick and Christopher, a married couple, says you can never go wrong if you marry your best friend. They would never abuse each other's trust. Jonathan, who has been married for three years, explains although there is temptation, he wouldn't cheat on his partner simply because of his faith in God and respect for his partner. Jim can't bear the thought of his wife cheating on him. Is he tempted? No, because the mere thought of her leaving him along with the kids, if he ever faltered, is worse than death!

Commitment phobia...

There are others who are afraid of 'settling down'. Steve, 40, remains a bachelor because he is not ready to settle down. He is an incredible man who has the distinction of being friends with every single one of his ex-girlfriends, simply because he has never lied to them about 'commitment'. Today, the 'C' word has multiple meanings. One only hoped it wouldn't equate to multiple partners!

Why people stay in a relationship or a marriage?

A relationship depends on how one views it. When married, it becomes a special investment, which also has religious connotations. Being with a person for a long period of time gives rise to emotions like affection and love. So people are compromise at the sake of their values. Also, a sense of security comes into play. But selfish motives can also allow a person to stick around for functional purposes.

Why are people scared of making a commitment?

People scared of committing usually suffer from some deep-seated emotional problems. A basic sense of insecurity could also lead to a situation wherein a partner is not willing to commit. While you can't say whether its men or women who are less likely to commit, the most obvious reason as to why people are scared to commit is the lack of mutual trust.

Seeking Love through Matchmaking for Marriage Relationship (II)

Why employing matchmaking service

Different people would have different reasons when going for matchmakers or matchmaking service. But certainly they have one common ground -- they are all serious love and marriage seekers desperately looking for long-term love and marriage relationships.

The following quotes nearly summarize almost all overt reasons why nowadays more and more people are employing matchmakers or matchmaking service:

"...Tired of chance meetings: Compatible Introductions will introduce you to many more compatible people that you could ever meet by chance in a relatively short period of time.
Time is a precious commodity in the 21st century: You don't want to waste time meeting people who have nothing in common with you.
Safety: All of our members are carefully pre-screened. We meet and interview all our new members personally.
Personalized and individual: we always inform you in advance personally before you are introduced to a compatible member.
No 'blind date': you see the person in a color photo before you are going to me.
Ready for Commitment: Our members are sincerely interested in finding a compatible mate.
You are selective: You want to know whom you are going to meet in advance.
You achieved your professional goals... now is the time to focus on your personal goals..."

"...Matchmaking services are a perfect alternative to pubs and clubs ... completely confidential and you know you are meeting genuine singles who are prepared to invest cash to meet someone suitable for a relationship or friendship..."

"...discreet, safe and caring way of finding a real relationship in today's uncertain environment..."

"...Most busy professionals don't have the time and resources for meeting other single, successful people outside of their own office, industry or social circle. A matchmaker has unique access to quality people.
A personal matchmaker can screen and pre-qualify the right matches for you similar to the way an executive recruiter screens candidates for a specific job.
It's all about TARGET MARKETING.
Sometimes, single people are guilty of selecting Mr. or Mrs. wrong over and over again. A matchmaker keeps you from repeating the same pitfalls of the past.
A personal matchmaker provides the privilege of a wide variety of choices. It's a 'numbers' game, but working with a matchmaker, there's an ongoing supply of highly desirable people to choose from.
It's more dignified and safe. You don't have to suffer the awkward indignity of blind dating or barhopping. With a matchmaker, you are guaranteed to meet people who you want to meet and who want to meet you one-on-one.
No more singles events, clubs or mixers with no guarantee of who you meet and/or if they'll measure up. A matchmaker caters to commitment-minded single men and women. Whether the goal is marriage or an exclusive relationship, an introduction service takes you beyond simply meeting new people. Its sole purpose is to introduce you to a sufficient number of pre-screened individuals who are more likely to be suitable matches.
A matchmaker represents many intangible aspects of a person's identity beyond what a simple photo and vital statistics could ever convey. And nobody likes the arrogance of someone tooting his or her own horn. Instead of bragging about yourself and all that you have to offer, let the experts do it for you in a much more objective and credible way..."

"Quality Singles... introduces you to great people you'd never meet on your own.
No Games - Online chat seldom works... for people who truly want to meet someone special and don't have time to play games.
Meet Serious Singles...don't just want to date. They are interested in meaningful long-term relationships."

Seeking Love through Matchmaking for Marriage Relationship (I)

Revival of traditional matchmaking service

Nowadays, communication has never been so fast; meeting people has never been so easy. But more and more people are looking for and using some kind of matchmaking service – online or offline.

We all see the revival of the millennium-old traditional matchmaking service industry. People looking for matchmaking service are serious love and marriage seekers. They are quite prepared to pay a huge amount of money in exchange for the highest rate of success in the shortest time possible. The Guinness Book of World Records listed Orly Hod (Orly the Matchmaker) – whose fees run up to $100,000 – as the world’s priciest matchmaker.

We do not have to look at the statistics before we know more people live longer today than those a century ago; more people get divorced today than those a century ago. We begin to wonder why marriage relationships would not last longer than those a century ago. Anyone could easily give dozens of reasons.

Of course, most people would think of love and marriage relationships are more an art than a science. But recent research has discovered that even personality and behavior orientations have genetic determinants, and so do marriage relationships.

We also see what the matchmakers are basically apply in matchmaking people are the nowadays so-called "scientific" tools – psychological tests, whether they are called compatibility tests, or personality profiles.

Almost all matchmakers take the view that compatibility is the golden rule. On the contrary, relationships do not depend only on compatibility.

There are numerous real cases that some couples disliked each other badly, but were able to stay together for their entire lives, while some other couples loved each other deeply, but were only able to enjoy each other’s company for a very brief period of time. That is why there are so many great love stories like "Romeo and Juliette".

If the problematic issues of marriage relationships can aptly be resolved by employing compatibility tests, life would relatively be easy. But is there anyone who is open-minded and dares to look into any other alternative means that could really help those desperate marriage seekers?

Relationships might not depend on compatibility.

Relationship Advice In The Long Term

If you are having problems with your long term relationship, advice can really help. Being in a relationship sometimes means you can't see the woods for the trees, so some outside input can really help you see things in a new perspective. Check out this article for 5 golden pieces of advice.

Long Term Relationship Advice 1
Learn to communicate again. By far the most common cause of problems with any long term relationship is lack of communication, or lack of appropriate communication. Everyday life tends to blunt our communication skills, and before we know what's happened we spend more time looking at the TV than we do looking at and speaking to our partners. You can fix this by setting aside some time to talk everyday, even if it's just sharing whatever happened in your day. A great tip to get this going is to have a “No TV During Dinner” rule.

Long Term Relationship Advice 2
Arrange some quality time with each other. Again, everyday life can often force us into a life of routine, and sometimes our partners can become part of that routine. You can break this habit by starting something out of the ordinary. Find a hobby for you both to take part in and do it together. If you can't find anything you both want to do it can be something as basic as just taking walks together-the key is just to spend time together outside of the confines of your usual relationship.

Long Term Relationship Advice 3
Remember why you love your partner. When things become stale and routine, it's very easy to begin to see your partner as something other than a partner, just someone who lives with you, like a housemate or whatever. This is not a good place for your relationship to be, so if you feel like this sometimes, take a moment to remember what it is about your partner that you love. If you can remember what brought you together, you can make sure you do things which involve or bring out those qualities in each other.

Long Term Relationship Advice 4
Show your partner that you respect them. In a long term relationship, respect is one of the hardest things to get back once it has gone, so it's always worthwhile to show your partner that you respect them. You can show your respect by trying not to be critical about them and their ideas, and always making a point of listening when they speak to you. After a while you'll find that your partner will begin to do the same for you, and you will develop a better understanding of each other as a result.

Long Term Relationship Advice 5
Let it out. They say a problem shared is a problem halved, but I think it's even moreso when you are in a long term relationship. If you do have something that's bothering you, even if it directly concerns your partner, you are best of speaking about it with them. You'll usually find that if you don't tell them, things will get a little worse and a little harder for each day that passes. Plus, when you talk things over and resolve them in an open and direct fashion, you make your relationship stronger.

Long term relationship advice really can fix most problems before they get to be a big deal. Check out the links below to get some of the best advice around.

An Apple on Your Head, Relationship Physics

Attempts to describe the differences and similarities of men and women have been made by philosophers, church leaders, and day-time TV. All have failed.

Our ancestors lived in trees, then we evolved. Sort of. After centuries of development men still tend to hunt and gather. Men still consider their role to be the provider, to bring home the clubbed furry thing for lunch. Do women still select their mate for his physical prowess? "Him big, make good hunter."

Women still tend to nurture and play their supportive role in our homes made of sticks and stone. It is women who have this unique ability to bear more hunters. It is women who still prepare the dead furry thing by combining it with organic matter plucked form the earth. Do men select their women based on physical child bearing attributes? "Big things, make good mother."

Anthropologists have offered indisputable scientific proof that men and women are different, and have evolved according to some kind of physical law and cultural rule. They tell us men and women have behaved much the same since the beginning. So by now we should have it all figured out. Men and women should live in their cave and form a bond, based on their primitive need to please the other and to protect their symbiotic relationship.

If it were so, then how do we account for the divorce rate? How do we account for the thousands of unhappy marriages? Sir Isaac Newton, a 17th Century scientist, might explain it using his laws of physics.

1. "An object at rest tends to stay at rest and an object in motion tends to stay in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force."

Soccer mom drives the SUV from field to field and will continue to do so unless she is interrupted by a stationary object called a post. Cooking and cleaning mom tends to continue cooking and cleaning unless she has to rush to aerobics class, or pick up the kids.

Working man tends to stay at work unless he is interrupted with a request to show up before the diner is cold, and bring home a loaf of bread. TV man tends to stay at rest unless the game is over and has to use the sandbox, or is out of beer, or both.

2. "The acceleration of an object as produced by a net force is directly proportional to the magnitude of the net force, in the same direction as the net force, and inversely proportional to the mass of the object."

Most people think of this as dropping bricks and feathers from tall buildings. It's really a reference to the relationship habits of man and woman. See, back in the 17th century, and anthropologists will agree, women were considered to be objects, and men were the force.

If you read the 2nd law again it would be:

She moves faster to her mother or to her lover when he pushes her harder. Or, he pushes her by doing nothing at all, especially around the house on weekends when he claims that he needs to rest so he can continue to work and earn money so she can have the SUV to take the kids to soccer and ballet and swimming and rush home to cook and finish the laundry and be ready for sex when he is finished playing on the computer and gets an erection.

3. "For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction."

This simple writer firmly believes and affirms that Sir Isaac's third law explains just about every relationship thing between man and woman.

This physics law, this law of nature, this universal man-woman law, explains what is going to happen to him when he forgets her birthday. It also explains why she get's him exactly the right colour cover for his golf clubs, or the right size shirt with the button down collar that goes with his pants that she gave him last month.

The third law also explains why she reacts the way she does when he brings her flowers. Or phones her when he will be late. Or doesn't forget her birthday. Or takes her to dinner, or takes the kids to soccer so she can have a rest. Or gives her a hug. Or stops what he is doing, or not doing, and simply listens to her.

Or says, "I love you" and means it.

When Couples Are In Stressful Relationship

“A good marriage is one which allows for change and growth in the individuals and in the way they express their love.” - Pearl S. Buck

When two people get married, it means they are making a big commitment. It means they should stay with each other through sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, till death do them part. Getting into a marriage relationship is the sign of the fullness of their deep romantic love for each other. Yet, their love for each other is tested in the course of time. First, there would be the adjustment period. All couples go through that. There is a saying that you only get to know the person if both of you are living under one roof.

The routine of everyday life brings unrealistic expectations. Marital disenchantment comes in and it is expressed shortly just after the honeymoon fever wears off. This is the time when inperfections can be seen. Shortcomings can be blown out of proportions. Some eccentric behavior which you found “cute” before now becomes annoying. Aside from your own problems as a couple, you have to deal with in-law relationships, money matters, and certain conflicts which have become the cause of your stress and anxiety.

When negative emotions and actions take over, it becomes the perfect recipe for marriage disharmony. Unless you become aware of your own hurtful attitudes or actions, chances are, you won't do something about it. Marriage is accepting who that person really is. We only need to practice self-control and learn not to have so many expectations.

The following tips will show you how to bring back that “zest” in your married life:

TIPS ON PUTTING ROMANCE BACK TO YOUR MARRIAGE


1. UNDERSTANDING – We all need reassurance. Reinforce this by showing affection, a simple praise, hug or kiss will do. We should learn to communicate our feelings to our mate. Don't be defensive. When you have a minor spat...say “I'm sorry.” and really mean it. The sooner you do this, the sooner your mate will stop resenting you.

2. LEARN TO ACCEPT- All marriages go through certain obstacles. The one that you married turns out not to be the “angel” that you envisioned or the “knight of shining armor.” Real love takes a lot of patience. So go beyond your illusions on what or how your mate should be. Rather, focus on yourself and start to make the necessary changes needed to improve who you are as a spouse.

3. MEET HALFWAY- In every situation, especially when you reach the point that you are angry, hurt, and frustrated --- you have to learn how to meet halfway. In other words, you must know how to compromise or negotiate. No two human beings are exactly alike. So settle your differences and learn to forgive each other right away. Don't let the sun go down on you without you and your mate finding the solution.

4. REKINDLE - How do you refresh and fix a troublesome marriage? Bring back the love and intimacy. Work on it. Work on your marriage. Like life....marriage is not a bed of roses. You have to work it out with your partner by investing time, love, money, and interest in each other. Bring back the closeness by being honest, non-argumentative, and non-judgmental. Being happy together brings good mental health as well as the physical.

Yes, you and your partner should be on top of everything, be in charge of keeping the romance alive and let your marriage blossom the way it was meant to be.

How To Be A Closer Family

Family should always be first, but it's easy to forget what matters most in today's hectic world. The greatest gift we can give our children is being part of a healthy, loving family as it is their foundation and security especially in times of need. Children will always need a safe haven and the home should provide that for them. Creating a happy and safe environment is easier than most people think. I hope the following will help get you started.

Give your children the opportunity to speak openly and freely about their concerns and troubles. This is a sure-fire way to increase your family's closeness. Maintain honesty and you will find that problems get solved quickly and easily. Instilling open communication in your children will also help them in all aspects of their lives later on. "Listen" with an open heart and a willing spirit. Don't judge the thoughts and feelings of other family members. Instead, try to understand where they are coming from and figure out solutions to ease their problems.

Spend quality time together each week. Many parents have full-time jobs and it's difficult to fit in time for relaxation and leisure, however, it's very important you make time for your family. Discuss what things the family would like to do together. Try to pick activities that encourage talking and interaction like bowling for example will enhance relations better than silently watching a movie in a theater. Try to keep the activity lighthearted and fun. Laughter bonds better than anything and its affects will ripple throughout your life.

Chores doesn't sound like it will bring a family closer, but one would be amazed to see what it can do. Having a clearly defined list of responsibilities for each member of the family will ease frustration and resentment. It will also encourage family members to get involved with household responsibilities and teach them that teamwork is important. Be sure to put the list up in a place that everyone will see easily and make a point of congratulating people when they do something well.

There are many ways to gain closeness within your family. These three steps are designed to give you a head start and help you create the family life you have always wanted. Initiate conversation with your family and get their ideas and suggestions for gaining a closer relationship. Always be open and willing to listen and work together. It won't always be easy, but it will always be worth it.

How Long Has It Been Since You Last Spent Time Together As A Family?

We are busy people. Every one has his or her own life to live, a job to take care of, mouths to feed, dreams to work hard for...and in the hustle and bustle of life, we tend to forget we belong to a family.

I was dumbstruck when I first knew that my sister who was older than me by 3 years had been diagnosed with breast cancer. All at once, life seemed to be so short and mortal. When I heard this news, my mind seemed to go back in time, rewinding back the moments I have had with my sister when we were young. There she was then, still a student nurse in England, while I was in secondary school. She was the one who remembered my birthday, sending me a present by parcel post, making my day. Gosh! It has been such a long time I have had spent time with my sister again. It has been years!

Indeed, when was it the last time you have had made an effort to spend time with your loved ones - perhaps your wife, or your parents, your brothers and sisters...or your closest friends?

We need to let the hustle and bustle of life move on their own, and get back a semblance of what is called "relationship". We must let the many voices of the world that draw us away from the togetherness and love of family and close friends to fade away in the background.

You will find the togetherness that can come from being with a loved one to really fill a vacuum of personal bonding to be very real when you make a conscious effort to be with him or her.

Do not let the voices of the world drown those bonds, but strive to establish bonds of love and togetherness with members of your family.

To me, it is time to make that telephone call to all the members of my family and to make the first step to renew those bonds. What about you?